Making sense of it all

I had one beautiful healthy baby on Friday the 13th of 2010. On Friday the 13th of 2012 one month shy of that healthy baby's birthday I found out I lost one. Words do not even begin to cover the feelings I have. Emotions are all that are there. Sadness. Anger. Annoyance. While on one side I understand God has a plan for our life and my plan may not be the same as His, on the other side you have to stop and wonder 'Why me?' I may never know the answer but I will continue on and grow. I have been blessed and know I will be blessed again.

Pumpkins and corn

We've entered toddlerhood. The boy is rounding the bend onto 14 months and he threw one of his more public fits tonight. It was at the local corn maze.

He had a blast. He ate a Sunchip. He drank his first juice box. He walked through the pumpkin patch. He played in a box full of corn. He laid in the box full of corn. He shoveled corn. He tried to eat corn. A good time was had by all.

And when it was time to leave the corn box

... He screamed and kicked me. Yep. We've entered toddlerhood. Am I ready?

It's been a year

Tomorrow marks one year from my due date (Not that I actually delivered a baby on my due date. That would come days ... what felt like weeks ... later.) I remember it so clearly. I remember sitting at work and angrily working on the paper for my due date thinking .... This is totally not fair. 

I remember my due date coming .... I remember it going. 

I remember the day after my due date when the doctor told me it looked like we would be sticking with our induction date.

I remember later that night after eating a giant buffet and deciding the best place for me would be Wal-Mart.

I remember my water breaking. In Wal-Mart. In the baby section.

I remember waddling my big butt to Wal-Mart's bathroom while my mom was in hot pursuit.

I remember my twin brother and his wife with the look of confusion on their face while all this was happening.

I remember pulling my shirt down over my butt and waddling as fast as my giant swollen feet would take me out the door of Wal-Mart.

I remember INSISTING on going home first. 

I remember telling them at the hospital ... I think my water may have broken but I'm really not for sure.

I remember the feeling when my water OFFICIALLY broke at the hospital. And thinking ... Thank God THAT didn't happen at Wal-Mart.

I remember the feeling of excitement waiting for things to get started so my baby could be here.

Then I remember the pitocin ... and things changed.

I remember Mark finally getting there after work all smiles while I was in the middle of a pitocin contraction.

I remember the epidural. 

I remember LOVING the epidural.

I remember Merrick being born.

I remember Mark leaning down to lovingly whisper to me ...

What's that honey? NO his head will not ALWAYS look like that!

I remember my new world clearly like it was yesterday.

I like it free

So want to hear how I got super cheap floss? Rite Aid had the Oral-B Satin floss on sale for 2.99 with your Wellness card. I had a $1 off coupon making it 1.99. And then I received $2 back on the end of my receipt. I paid 2.17 out of pocket, subtract $2 for next time and I technically got the floss for .17. 

I wanted to use my Free Breathe Right 10 count pack that I printed off Rite Aids website but they were out :( Here's hoping to next week being back in stock! 

Tell me about your big deal.

New hobby

I've developed a new hobby. That's right, I'm jumping on the couponing bandwagon.

I've been trying it for a few weeks now and think I'm getting pretty good at it. So as I coupon this summer I'll try to keep everyone up to date on exactly what sales I'm doing and what combinations I'm trying.

I'll start off with a few tips I've picked up in the last couple of weeks.

Tip 1) Don't just think coupons come in the newspaper!! Yes you can get some great coupons out of the Sunday paper but don't forget the Internet! Most stores take printed coupons now so take advantage. I use coupons.com to print some fantastic deals. Search for your products on facebook. A lot of times for just 'liking' a page you can go to a tab that lets you print REALLY good coupons. I'll also google products I like and sometimes their personal website will have a coupon option to print from. There are other sources for Internet coupons, these are just my favorite ways to get them.

Tip 2) Don't use a coupon the week you clip it unless it's a GREAT deal. The coupons don't expire right away so hold onto them looking for the best deal and then jump on it!

Tip 3) 'Like' couponing pages on Facebook. Those women will keep you up to date on the last minute sales and direct you to printable coupons for the products. They will also do a run down of sale fliers for the week and coupon match ups. VERY helpful for a beginner.

Tip 4) Try to always match a coupon with a sale price. Look at your sale fliers and then see if you have coupons for the products.

Tip 5) You can stack a store coupon, manufacturer coupon and a sale price! This is how free products happen!! Target lets you print coupons from their site and they will send you a text with coupons in it and both options can be matched with a coupon you clipped or printed.

Tip 6) Don't expect extreme savings overnight!! I'm trying to master one store's coupon policy before moving onto the next. Right now I'm working on Rite Aid. Now if I see a good deal at Walgreens or Target I'll go after it but I'm concentrating all my energies on Rite Aid. No particular reason except it's right down the street from my work and I like their Wellness Program.

Tip 7) Take advantage of store programs like Rite Aids Wellness Program. You get money back on your next purchase a lot of times and many times there is a survey for $3 off $15 at the bottom of your receipt. I ALWAYS shop with one of these coupons.

Tip 8) Don't buy it unless you have a need for it!! If your family won't use it then it's not a deal!! The only way it's a deal is if it's dirt cheap or free and it's something you could donate. Like I'm stocking up on coupons for coffee because as soon as I see a deal I'm unloading them to donate to St. Anthony's Hospice's local center. They need coffee at their center. You could also obtain free formula with some coupons that could be donated to an emergency women's shelter or pregnancy center. Depends and whatnot could be donated to a senior center. So unless you can use it or donate it to a local cause then it's NOT a deal.

Tip 9) Always keep your coupons with you! You never know when a deal will pop up. My mom leaves hers in the car. This is not the best option when you are in the store and need one.

Tip 10) Organize. Find a binder, coupon binder, big ziploc bag, anything to keep all your coupons together. I have a small expanding file that I keep in my purse and then a big ziploc bag that I keep all the misc. items in. Extra coupons, sales fliers, small pair of scissors, ect.

These are just a few tips to get your started. I'll try to add more as I go along. There are many more tips to be had. So first step is to go find a coupon site and read up on your local store's coupon policy! That probably should have been tip number 1.

Worth every second

I just put the boy to bed. I asked for a kiss. I received the sweetest, sloppiest, most open mouth kiss of my life.

I sit back and think about all the tears I shed. All the prayers I sent up. All the temper tantrums

I threw. All the hours I spent online looking for support, tips, answers. And every tear, prayer, fit, piece of information was worth it.

I spent 11 months trying to get pregnant. Eleven crazy, tantrum filled months. And just when I was ready to give up for the time being I found out I was pregnant. Forty weeks and 2 days later I gave birth. And still didn't get to hold him right away. But from the minute he was handed to me all those hours after labor I immediately connected to him. He was immediately mine.

And now 9 months later I look back and realize I would shed every single tear again. I would throw every single fit again. I would have every single jealous thought, hateful thought toward every other pregnant girl I encountered again. All those stressful months made Mark and I the parents we are today. And we are so appreciative of the gift we received.

Thank you Nesties (you know who you are) for introducing me to the language of fertility and essentially my boy. Without support of 'friends' and Taking Charge of Your Fertility I would still be a bitter old mess.

Our first meeting

It's that time of year!

As I sit at my desk I begin to reflect on the time of year. ... That's right people it's rummage sale time!!! I will be heading out in the morning on my first rummaging trip of the season. I can't wait. Oh the possible treasures that await me out there in someone else's junk pile. 

More rummage blogging to come ...