In memory

October is breast cancer awareness month.  I would like to take some time to remember my aunt and her story.

My aunt was 37 when she died from breast cancer. Her death turned my family upside down. 

My aunt was one of the funniest people I knew. She always had some remark about the world around her that would make you laugh. 

My very first upside down roller coaster was ridden with her by my side. We went on a mini vacation with her, my uncle and their daughter. My dad had had back surgery and couldn't ride with me. My aunt and uncle encouraged me to ride. They talked me into it and then my uncle backed out at the last minute. My aunt rode with me. Once we got off and she made a joke about 'almost peeing on herself' and then she admitted that she really didn't want to ride it but she did it for me. That amusement park is long gone but I will never forget that ride.

I remember clearly where I was the moment I learned my aunt had a lump in her breast. I was at a cousin's birthday party. It was September.

I remember in October sitting in the waiting room while she had it removed. I remember being scared. I was a Junior in high school. It was fall break.

The next year was a blur. I remember trying to keep a positive outlook on what was going on. I remember praying so hard for her to get better.

I remember the doctor saying it was gone. I remember when it came back.

I remember her yelling at me in the hospital because I thought if she drank that Ensure she would get better. I remember her HATING that Ensure.

I remember spending every spare moment at the hospital.

I remember the moment I knew her fight was over. I remember the pain and hurt I felt when I heard my uncle talk about shopping for her casket. I remember hating him at that moment.

I remember seeing her pull back out of it and thinking things were getting better. 

I remember shopping for my prom dress with my little cousins while my aunt lay in the hospice unit. I remember getting a drab black dress because that's how I felt. 

I remember saying goodbye the night she died. Something told me not to leave without saying goodbye. 

I remember giggling at her funeral because the music played was something she would have laughed at if she were able to hear it. 

I remember the pain at not having her here for my wedding. 

I will never forget the battle she fought in that short time. I will always remember the good times I had with her. I will NEVER forget watching her fight.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and every one should take a moment to do a self-check or to remind a loved one to self-check or get a mammogram. Just a few minutes could save a life.